Monday, January 31, 2011

It has been a long long time since I last update my blog.Frankly speaking,there are times when I feel like updating my blog but I'm too lazy to update it.I also dont have any topic to talk with you guys.Well,actually I do have but my mind went empty when I click at "new post" button.Then I start mumbling about some stupid things.*wth*

Well,I'm in my semester 2 now.It has been okay but I wish I studying with my form 4&5 classmate.They are the best.We are like brothers and sisters.When one of use feeling down,the whole class feel it too and start asking one another about him/her.Hurmm,that's the best year in my life.

Now,I dont feel as happy as I used to be.I'm in a totally different environment.There are times when I feel like crying and dont have anyone to talk to.That's the time,when I sms my "sisters" and tell them about my problem.They are still the same people I know.Help me when I'm down,giving me advice when I've got problem.How,I wish we were studying together.
You guys make me laugh when I feel down,make me feel alive again when I feel like dying is the best option,make me feel less alone.

My boyfriend always put the blame on me.He always start the argument and make me feel guilty.I cant take it.I do love him but I just cant tell him what really feel.There are things,I kept inside because I'm afraid he will start an argument with it.I dont want to argue with him.I'm too tired for it.Sometimes I think whether he really appreciate me?Does he really love me or he just want someone he can throw his anger at?
When I'm down,he dont really make me comfortable.I feel like I'm just a burden to him.
Asking me question like "do you really want to go out with me? because when we go out you look like normal.Not excited","do you love me?".How am I suppose to answer him when he ask me like that .It has been 1 year but when he ask me "do you love me?" ,I get really frustrated.At the point of time,I rather kill myself and bury myself six feet under.Then ask me "if I die,how you will be?".Huh?!,what kind of question is that?What is he trying to tell me?.I dont want to be cliche and tell him "oh,my darling,I will die together with you",I aint juliet.*sigh*

Can I have a shot of tequila?*sigh*


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